CHAMPAGNE, OPAL TEETH AND PEARLS

Oh joy, said I, there’s a neighborhood sale even though it's a holiday weekend!

I'm so gullible. The ‘neighborhood sale’ turned out to be two houses next door to each other. (At least I didn’t have to drive all over the tract.) They said “the other one who was going to do it wussed out.” I kindly forbore to lecture them on the definition of a neighborhood sale and the consequences of false advertising. They were nice enough folks. On one driveway there was an extensive collection of panda figurines for sale. Someone used to like pandas, I said. “Yeah, my mom,” said the girl having the sale. “Then she made the mistake of letting people know she liked them and this was the result.” I said it's always dangerous to say you collect something. Her friend popped in with, “You should tell them you collect money. Or gift cards.”

A practical young woman. I like that.

I was rather sorry there wasn’t really a neighborhood sale going on, because this was the neighborhood where we got the amazing kumquat windfall almost two years ago. I was hoping to be able to tell those generous folks that my husband is still enjoying the kumquat marmalade he made. It was a lot of kumquats!

The first sale where I bought anything was a young couple who are moving to a much smaller place. They had brought their stuff to his parents’ house to sell, and the parents had pulled out merchandise as well. The dad was trying out a leather overstuffed rocking chair, and I asked if he was demonstrating the merchandise. “I've never seen this chair before,” he said. He seemed to like it quite a lot. I suspect it may have moved into the parents' house instead of going home with a shopper.

I found several things here, including this rooster plaque thingie. I suppose I could call it an architectural element, but that seems a bit grand for something with a rooster on it.
It may go in the yard somewhere, or I could give it as a prize in our staff reading program (found several things for that today).
Another lady who was looking around at the sale noticed it and said to me, “You must buy everything with roosters on it.” I must have looked puzzled (I like chickens, but have never considered myself the kind of person who buys them indiscriminately) because she pointed out, “You have a rooster on the back of your shirt.” Sure enough, I was wearing my one-dollar Quacker Factory shirt with chickens embroidered on it. She must be a city girl though, because I'm pretty sure that this is a hen, not a rooster!
A bit later I hit the jackpot for reading prizes at a really fun sale. The three women there all had crystal flutes with a bubbly beverage that they told me was champagne and pomegranate juice. In fact as we chatted they offered me a drink, but I declined on account of driving. (I have a really low tolerance for alcohol.) But it looked awfully tempting. I mentioned that I was buying stuff to give away in our reading program, and one of them kept finding more and more good stuff, nearly all of it priced fifty cents. I told her she spoke my language.

A few minutes later she was telling a man about my age of her husband’s new craze, which is flicking playing cards so that they stick into the kitchen cabinets. I know, sounds peculiar; she said he’d seen a video about it on Youtube. The instructional value of the Internet cannot be overestimated! I allowed as how it sounded like a weird pastime to me, and the guy she was talking to said her husband had gotten it from him. He was her father in law and claimed to be even weirder than his son. I said flicking cards into the woodwork was pretty strange, so how could he top it? “I built an airplane,” he said, “powered by pedaling it, and I flew it. Now it's in a museum in Australia.” Wait, I said, I've heard of you. But no. Turned out this was not the guy who is famous for the Gossamer Condor and Albatross. “I didn’t win the Kremer Prize, though I was trying to, but I didn’t have any backing and he got there first. But I finished my plane and flew it. And now my son is a pilot.” (When he’s not flicking cards.)

Nope, I said. That’s not weird, that’s cool. You’ve got to try harder than that for weird. So he gave me a big grin and showed me his teeth, and told me all about how he was born without his right eyetooth, which gave him a big gap between his two front teeth. He said he’d always wanted to be a dentist, but he never finished high school and they’re stuffy about that in the profession. So he used a wedge to slowwwwllly move the front tooth into a more proper alignment, then he constructed himself a bridge with an eyetooth he made from an opal. I got a full description, just about enough to start working on my own mouth. It was amazing, and what a claim to fame—a homemade opal false tooth.

Yup, I agreed. That’s weird, much weirder than flicking cards. You win.

I spent a total of $14.50—mostly on reading prizes I hope my colleagues will like, including a paint by number kit. Maybe someone will be as nostalgic about these as I am.
A pretty china box.
Several frames—I'll insert sayings about the wonders of reading.



A trio of candleholders.
A snowglobe.
Some fun candles.
A plaque to hang over a kitty’s food bowl.
Rubber stamps for someone crafty.
A set of rose soaps—you peel off the petals one at a time.
A pair of cups and saucers from Starbucks. They remind me of the teacup ride at Disneyland—still my favorite thing to do there.
This bag o’ feather boas will go to my children’s librarians.
Not sure if I'll keep this deviled egg plate; it might be another prize.
I did get a few things I plan to keep. This Lucite lamp needs to have the thing that holds the shade fiddled with, it's a little wobbly. But I think it will be cute when it's cleaned up.
Found some DVDs…
…and an underwater light thingie for the pool, or maybe for my little pond.

A Spode plate. There was glue on the back

but heating it with the hairdryer softened it enough to pry it off. I love the hairdryer trick.
And finally, this has to be the funniest thing I saw all day. I could not pass it up. Furthermore, I will wear it!
Those pearls are just too much!